Soft Lent

The Discipline of Being Kind to Yourself

* Last week I wrote about entering through the side door of Lent, and it turns out that I am not finished advocating for a gentle spiritual practice during this season. On Ash Wednesday I found myself accidentally taking my own advice, and I thought that was worth celebrating. In any case, here are some further thoughts on being kind to yourself as a spiritual practice. If you would like to meet sassy Southern Cameron, just imagine me with a glass of sweet tea in hand, eyebrows raised, declaring, “Some of y’all need to be nicer to yourselves.” (I was born and raised in Memphis. I’m allowed.) *

Here’s the thing. I know Lent is about penance. Or is it? The older I get, the more I can trust my intuition about what serves me and what doesn’t. It’s always helped me to think of Lent not as an obligation, but as an invitation: to intimacy, to growth, to communion with God.

I’ve pretty much tried it all at this point, and I know which roads, for me, are a dead-end to shame and despondency. And I know which ones lead to life.

So I just want to say this in case you haven’t heard it yet this year: the Lenten practice you need the most might be…treating yourself with kindness. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It doesn’t have to be every day. It doesn’t have to be something you cross off a checklist. It can be sweet and simple, however it fits into your life.

I’m speaking especially to people who are already suffering, people who tend to be hard on themselves, people who are caregivers, and people who tend to think of themselves last. It is a good and holy discipline to love yourself as a sacred echo of the way you are loved by God.

This reflection is brought to you by the Valentine’s lunch I took myself out to at the bookstore cafe and the two new books I bought (because I hardly ever eat out, and hardly ever buy anything that isn’t on super clearance. But even I have to accept that my hold on Demon Copperhead isn’t going to come in at the library until approximately 2027). I ate my falafel, I turned the pages, and I felt beloved. Happy Lent. 🖤

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A Few Hopeful Things

-Is there anything more joyful than a kindergarten Valentine’s Day party? I was lucky enough to attend my son’s, and the sweetness of it was just overwhelming. (Also, wow, valentines have come a long way since I was a kid! Gone the days of plain paper cards—now it’s bracelets and keychains and, oh my stars, tiny little watercolor sets. Amazing.)

-THE SUN is making an appearance around here most days, and I am racking up lots of flowers for my nature journal in my neighborhood walks. On Wednesday I encountered my first daphne of 2024. The scent is just otherworldly.

-This ecumenical public witness and call for ceasefire was so moving to me. God, hear our cries.

Stretching toward self-kindness with you,
Cameron